Confused In Detroit

l saw him again today; the man I’m gonna marry. He may already be married for all I know. He came to my job to make a pharmaceutical delivery as he routinely does and he had on air max 90s and a vintage Mario shirt. When he said “dope”, I figured I should know the name of my future kids’ father. We exchanged names. Dope… Dope indeed.

I’ve lost all hope to find another socially awkward misfit, like myself. I just gotta do the best I can to ease the sting of the long, lonely nights.

He touched my skin

hot beneath the moisture of a thousand no’s

of a thousand wait’s

of a thousand cries and I could not refuse him

and I did not love him

but I had many hurts ago.

My raven hair lay on his pillow

my nose to wet, white pillowcases

I cry like a banshee

I wail and try to smell this monster

A piece of him

I needed something

to remember him by other than bruises

My ribs ache and every breath brings me closer

to death, as does any

and I cannot

I will not

be alone.